Archive for July 2012

How to Get Love Back - Make Problem Relationships a Thing of the Past

Relationship repair is now something needed by the rich and famous, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. Even innocent people find themselves needing to know how to get love back because nearly EVERY one of us suffers from an occasional romantic blunder.

Yet, seldom does a lover come out and say he or she PURPOSELY commits such mistakes. Nearly no romantic partner ever falls short on patience, kindness, affection, or mutual respect with absolute intent.

In fact, this is a small part of what makes fixing a relationship so very difficult to do sometimes. Common relationship problems often stem from one, single, and very universal common denominator -- and that is, future companions possess ways, habits, preferences, beliefs, principles, methods, and ways of understanding life that become ingrained within the psyche long before you may ever meet that person.

Believe it or not, there are effective methods already written on how to get love back and make problem relationships disappear. Yet, these methods totally involve your acceptance plus ATTACHMENT to a real-life fact.

It is in letting go of a person physically, mentally, and emotionally that gives you added powers of relationship self-confidence, mutual trust, and the continuous longing to meet, touch, and talk once again. For some, this is a very difficult relationship guidance "pill" to swallow.

You see, however, that deep down inside, basically no one desires to feel:

-- Overcrowded or smothered...

-- Mistrusted or suspected...

-- Ignored or not listened to...

Can you see where this relationship repair methodology tip is going? You can pay couples therapists thousands of dollars to try and extract the most reliable and straightforward solution for achieving and maintaining ongoing romantic bliss.

In simple terms, nonetheless, learning how to get love back -- and better yet, NOT HAVING TO LOSE IT, really comes down to treating another person as you would wish to be treated. The "catch" to this oh-so-simplistic romance remedy is that YOU nearly always have to be the FIRST one to make such a move, and you have to repeat over and again.

Even when your partner does NOT reciprocate and respond equally or fairly, YOU cannot stop doing what is right. This remedy is a super SOLID one -- it truly works, like a miracle.

But, discovering how to get love back takes time... the time to learn it, to apply it, to repeat it, plus the time it takes to allow YOURSELF to become confident enough to ACCEPT the rewards it gives you. Do you know that there are some people who constantly feel that almost any mistake their partner makes is their own fault?

In actuality, nearly nothing could be further from the truth. When employing the relationship repair or relationship guidance principle of "doing everything you can reasonably do to lift your partner up and make his or her day the best one possible..." there is essentially no room for counterproductive or negative thoughts within your relationship.

This principle on how to get love back works very much like that of "darkness and light cannot exist in the same space at the same time." True, is it not?

The romantically loving "light" represents the continuous act of uplifting your partner. When TWO people perform this action in the same place at the same time, the "darkness" of negative romantic thought or action simply cannot occur.

Are you ready to turn over a new leaf in your relationship and try something that can provide secure promise, stability, and peace for you and your romantic companion?

By Kenneth Dockins

Love, Relationships & Reincarnation - Power of Love & Forgiveness Won't Allow You to Cheat Fate

Through our research, we've found that a wonderfully
harmonious bond (and variations of it) between two
people, whether it is a work, family, friendship, or love
relationship, is either there, or it isn't.

We've also found that past lives with other people
strongly influence what is experienced with them today.

Therefore, past life regression, when the focus is on
the root cause of a problem and forgiveness, can
definitely help to heal present life relationships.

Don't believe in reincarnation? It doesn't matter.

Whether past life scenes perceived in past life
regression are real or imagined, both believers
and skeptics can benefit from this powerful
therapy.

But can the power of love and forgiveness alter
destiny?

If a relationship is meant to end, based on the
personal timing of the individuals involved and
what they (their souls, not their personalities)
decided before incarnating, can they (their
personalities) choose to override that?

Well, as we've said before, our position is that you
can't cheat fate. Of course, the couple could stay
together if they really wanted to, but it would likely
feel unnatural (if they were honest with themselves)
and potentially cause a lot of stress.

The good news is that if you change your perspective
of love relationships by dropping your expectations
(for permanence, someone to "complete" you, and the
other relationship traps in our society that you're
conditioned to embrace) and accept each relationship
as it's meant to be, they become less difficult and more
satisfying. Of course, starting with a solid foundation of
self love and respect is important too.

Our comprehensive numerology and astrology
(compatibility and individual personal cyclical timing),
along with psychic/intuitive readings indicates to us
the level of compatibility and the timing of relationship
rewards and challenges.

For example, we could indicate, on a scale of 1-100, just
how compatible you are with your mate as seen through
our work.

Also, we could indicate the duration potential of your
bond. In other words, we'd tell you when things were,
are, and will be "good" and when they aren't, along with
our professional opinion as to if the relationship has "seen
better days."

By Scott Petullo

Five Ways to Improve Your Love Relationship

As human beings, we all desire to establish, develop and maintain loving relationship with those whom we care about. Most of us especially desire a love relationship, someone with whom to share our lives and grow old. It is arguable that on one really wants to die alone. But if this is so, then why are U.S divorce rates so high?

Many factors can account for why people split up such as early marriage, financial problems, infidelity, drug and alcohol addiction and abuse just to name a few. But, no one enters into a marriage with the intention of divorce so what goes wrong?

In order to maintain a love relationship over time, the bottom line is that each person in the marriage has a certain obligation and responsibility to practice emotional maturity and personal responsibility for their feelings, dreams and aspirations. Here are five key things to keep in mind if you want to keep that love relationship alive and well for decades.

Five ways to improve your love relationship

1. Be honest with yourself about who you really are, not who you think you should be or your spouse wants you to be. We can all only keep up a charade for so long, and then the dark side of us exposes itself at the worst possible moment.

Most of the time we deny to our conscious self that we do have a dark side in which we don't always act in way we'd like. We confuse who we think we are with who we really are, a living human being with a complete range of powerful emotions that we've learned are not safe to express, especially the vulnerable or dark ones.

If we can't accept that we are humans and are imperfect, how can we expect our spouse to do so? As long as we wear the mask of happy at the expense of embracing our pain and fear, an underlying anger and resentment will grow and grow until it finally rears its ugly head or we stuff it inside and become a victim. We begin the death march of projection of our anger, disappointment and depression onto our spouse. Somehow it makes sense to blame them. The result of this is an emotional distancing that is unhealthy and painful for both partners.

Understanding our own responsibility to be honest with who we are, what our aspirations are, what our fears are and what our joys are gives us permission and courage to ask for what we need it the love relationship.

2. Make time for the love relationship

This has been said many times, many ways and it bears repeating here. As time goes by and real life begins to creep into your loving world, it is important to remember why you got married in the first place and it is equally important to remember why you were attracted to your lover in the first place. All of the qualities that put butterflies in you stomach and passion in your heart in the early days of the relationship, still exist. However, life doesn't stand still just because we are in love. No, the sun still rises every morning, the darkness comes and the bills have to be paid.

The importance of scheduled time together cannot be overstated. As you and your spouse grow, so too, will your love relationship. It will grow and change as you do and if you do not establish a deep respect and friendship with each other, your love relationship will suffer. Be creative about together time. Take turns planning your special time together, surprise each other, have fun, create adventures and make a point to create memorable moments. This is as easy as consciously being present in the simplest of moments. When you are fully present to your love, the meaning will be memorable.

3. Be compassionate

Over time, it become very easy to take our love relationship and our partner for granted, in actuality, we begin to consider them as an extension or ourselves and this, too, is a deadly mistake. While the two of you may have joined together as "one" in marriage, there are still two distinct personalities that have dreams and goals. Eventually the day will come when we find ourselves being harsh and judgemental toward the one we love the most. Other times we find ourselves speaking to our love in a way in which we would never speak to another person. At times like these, remember that how we speak to our spouse or others who are close to us, is actually a reflection of how we speak to ourselves in our minds through a process of negative internal dialog. This is a reminder to us to stop and show compassion both to ourselves and to our love and our loving relationship.

4. Be committed

A love relationship is above all a commitment that we make not only to our lover, but to ourselves. We are best served by understanding that a commitment is not just a promise and a powerful intention, it is our integrity. Personal integrity is separate from moral or ethical integrity an responsibility. It is a promise we make to ourselves, an internal standard of the way we will live our lives. Many moments will come and go that will test the integrity of both partners, but an acknowledgment of our own code of conduct and what is in our own integrity can serve as a powerful anchor to steady us to our commitment when challenging times befall us.

5. Be Positive

It's human nature, for some unknown reason, to look for what is wrong instead of looking for what is right. This is a habit that is a must in a loving relationship. We find what we look for, so if we look for what is going wrong, or what we think is wrong about our spouse, we are sure to find it. On the other hand, if we look for what is right, we will surely find that as well.

In moments of frustration, asking this question, am I looking for what is right or what is wrong, can bring some much needed positive energy to any situation. There is no flaw in another that we can recognize that does not, in fact, dwell within us. The old saying "You spot it, you got it" is trite but true. We cannot identify what is wrong with someone else if it didn't exist is us. If not, how would we know it exists? How would be be able to spot it in another? And likewise with looking for what is right. We possess those qualities too, for again, if not, we would never be able to recognize them in our lover or the loving relationship.

There is nothing like being in love, but nothing endures like a truly loving relationship that is built on honesty, integrity, compassion, commitment and a true respect for the greater support structure being built. These qualities are the bedrock of any loving relationship that will be with you for the rest of your life, in good times and bad, in sickness and health until death parts you briefly.

Need a little support in your life? Sign up for free reports, information, e-courses and more.

Mary is a life coach is a the author of numerous newspaper and magazine articles on personal growth and conscious and successful living. Mary is known for her "no excuses" approach to coaching for a sustainable transformation.

By Mary Tucker

I Remember My Love Relationships; Where They Really Love?

Dottiedee here sharing, "I Remember" as this is my story dear to my heart, may we all find our lesson contained within the words on this page.

I grew up in South Central Nebraska on a farm. I had been brought up in a Christian family which attended church often, it came first in our lives. Every thing we did revolved around church and being there whenever we possibly could be.

Now, years later, after giving up some of the legalistic ways of the church and living life as an experience rather than something that must fit in a mold given to me as a child, I find living in the land of happiness very rewarding.

Remembering how as a child everything was to be done correct, right or perfect to be acceptable to the denominator, our church and society, putting a lot of stress on people to meet expectations or to have expectations that couldn't be met.

We can expect so much out of our love relationships.

I was speaking with a new widow tonight, discussing how she misses her loved one, yet how they lived in a love/hate relationship which now has ended, leaving her lost without a male to go back and forth with loving or hating.

She is pulled by not wanting to live the rest of her life alone, as she is still young, yet she doesn't want to enter into another love/hate relationship.

What if a love/hate relationship is really a dominator/dominated living together unhappily not knowing how to end the domination and become true partners in a loving partnership?

What if we really didn't have to have two sides to our relationships?

What if we could have a common ground, an equal equity, fair voting love relationship?

What if we could learn to communicate knowing each had good ideas, could make wise choices and we could really respect and trust each other with no fear of being the dominator or the dominated one?

What if we could truly share our hearts without the dominance factor or the rule and the "obey" factor entering into the picture?

What if we could look at our marriages as the coming together of equals and not dominator and one to be dominated?

What if we could really, in true love, create a money distribution which would be fair, honest, and equal for all concerned in our families?

What if we would sit down with open eyes and open hearts to examine our habits with spending, saving, and money management, what would this look like for us?

What if making plans ahead of time for our purchases and create the cash to do so to eliminate paying out our cash for interest, how would this benefit our families?

What if doing the above could replace the love/hate dominator/dominated relationships we are raising our children into day?

What if we could drop the 70% of adult Americans with blemished credit and the habits which creates poor credit to only 10% what would this do for our families?

Would making these changes have an effect on our divorce rates, on our alcohol and gambling addictions?

What if we gave up our attitude that nothing can be done about it, and we set out to one day at a time make a difference in our relationships based on dominator/dominated and created true love partnership relationships?

What if we could have relationships based on pure love, love for each other with out an agenda?

By Dottiedee Glass

The Importance of Communication in Relationships, Love, and Romance

You have heard communication is important for relationships, romance, and love. Well, I take this a step further. Communication is the relationship. Communication connects people. You can do neither when communication is nonexistent.

How do you maintain or build a strong relationship when you fail to communicate? You cannot. Just as a bridge connects two adjacent objects together, so does our verbal and nonverbal messages connect two people because a relationship literally means the shared connection. Long distance relationships often fail because of a lack of connection, but they can work because the two persons connect and communicate with one another (either that, or their previous connection was so strong it keeps them together).

Now you know that communication is the relationship, there are many other surprising benefits in improving your communication. Most days we talk with people about shallow or logical issues. These can be discussions about what happened at work, what chores need to be done, and that stupid coworker who keeps annoying you. While intimacy can arise from talking about this, because the mere act of communication connects people, you will be more intimate when the two of you converse on topics related more strongly to your emotions.

You'll be surprised at how much you love relationships and love life when you learn to talk about things you or the other person have an emotional attachment to. You don't necessarily have to talk about passions and ambitions because you can also have an emotional attachment to problems and pain. Discussing these darker aspects with a spouse, family member, and - dare I mention - your boss will connect the two of you together when each party is open.

Humans are creatures desperately wanting to be understood. A crying toddler wants to be understood. An angry manager wants to be understood. A silent spouse wants to be understand. Though it is difficult to see people's need to be understood, when you empathetically connect with them through communication, you see that need and build a strong relationship with them.

Acknowledging the importance of communication is the first step to harnessing its power. Once you see its importance, you will start improving how you communicate. You will start searching for tips and pieces of advice. You will even start talking to people about this near magical process that is the relationship.

The last piece of advice I want to give you is to encourage you to continually learn how to communicate for a better relationship. Whether you learn from me or another expert is not as big of a concern for me as wanting you to improve that area of your life because communication forms your relationships.

By Joshua Uebergang

Relationship Rules That Will Make Someone Love You

It is easy to fall in love, but life after the declaration is the hardest part. Once you know that he is interested in you, and seems to indicate that he loves you, the next step is to continue to maintain the flame and "keep the love burning." In order to do that, you need rules. Rules place boundaries and help maintain freedom. In the same way that piano practice twelve hours a week allows a child to find the time when his or her schedule permits, the relationship rules that will make someone love you allow you more freedom in your relationship than you ever knew.

One of the relationship rules that will make someone love you is communication. You need to agree to keep talking to one another, even through the crazy days when you want to run away and hide from the rest of the world. When you are frustrated and need to vent, talk to your man. Let him know that you just need a listening ear and a crying shoulder for the hardest days. He will understand your need to vent because it is likely that he will need to vent to you as well. When the two of you have a disagreement or say harsh words, come together to reconcile things and end them on a good note. How you handle the stress and disagreements will help him see you as a valuable partner in marriage. No person in love wants to fight, argue, and slam doors all the time with the one they love.

Another of the relationship rules that will make someone love you is trust. Trust is the foundation by which a relationship is built and grows over time. If you are suspicious of his love for you and his fidelity to you, then either you are overly suspicious (which you may or may not need to be), or he has his eye on other goals in life and you are not one of them. One way to sort through these two options is to see if he is comfortable being with you alone. If he is more comfortable being with you at the movies or a company banquet than he is with you alone, he is not interested in anything more than a casual dating relationship. Do not continue to dream of marriage with him.

The last of the relationship rules that will make someone love you is respect. Respect is what happens when you allow the other person to be who he is. Do not consume time in the relationship with trying to change him; if he does not like business suits, a brief case, and a tie, do not force him to dress like a businessman. If he is a jeans and t-shirt guy, you should allow him to wear what makes him comfortable. If he is a business suit kind of guy, do not force him to "dress down" for your sake.

Additionally, grant each other time apart. Plan your times together, and make them productive; yet, allow him to go be a part of the lives of his relatives and friends. Think of it like this: he will have commitments outside of you when he marries, so why not let him maintain those commitments now? He needs to be a well-rounded person, and being with you all the time will not improve his image.

Have you ever heard the saying, "If you love someone, you should let them go"?

By Richard Jameson

Seeking Love Through Matchmaking For Marriage Relationships

Matching tools adopted by matchmakers

We could see what most if not all the matchmakers are basically applying in matching people is the nowadays "scientific" tools.

Following are extracts from some matchmaker sites showing the tools and attributes that are most commonly adopted for matching people seriously seeking love and marriage relationships:

"...is the only relationship site on the web that creates compatible matches based on 29 dimensions scientifically proven to predict happier, healthier relationships. To help you better understand these 29 dimensions, we've grouped them into Core Traits and Vital Attributes. Core Traits are defining aspects of who you are that remain largely unchanged throughout your adult life.
Vital Attributes are based on learning and experience, and are more likely to change based on life events and decisions you make as an adult..."
"... matches you based on compatibility in the most important areas of life -- like values, intellect, sense of humor, and 25 other dimensions..."

"...is proven to be more effective than any relationship tool on the Web. By identifying your traits, we determine your romantic compatibility type and suggest ideal matches for you. And unlike the eHarmony experience, you're free to accept those matches or do your own search based on any criteria you choose..."

"...matchmaking system is based on 30 compatibility factors based on research and long time experience in successful introductions..."

"...matched with individuals that are balanced and counter balanced with your Key Core Compatibility Analysis as well as your physical criteria, personality requirements, hobbies, interests..."
"...who don't have time to meet the 'right' person, nor do they have time to waste with the wrong person. Our Members come to us to find someone that matches their lifestyles, attitudes, values and goals as well as someone matching their physical requirements...
...Life is short - but if you are with the wrong person it is long, very long."
"...matches based upon your desires, goals, motivations and our instincts..."

"...'You', Will be Matched -- With People of
Similar Backgrounds, Similar Interests, Similar Values, and Similar Expectations..."

"...who best match your...Values...Lifestyles...Interests...& Goals..."

"...Do you guarantee a 'match'?
No one can predict how a relationship will evolve. Our objective is to connect you with an individual who meets the specific criteria you provide regarding what you are looking for in a lifetime partner (not just someone to 'date'). After the two of you make the first connection, it is up to the two of you to proceed in a manner that is mutually appropriate..."

"...Our culture, interests, political views, career, education, class, religion and income level all indicate compatibility. We match our members with people who share ideas and lifestyle..."
"...Other important factors on which we base our proposals are self-esteem, self-confidence, sex drive, appearance, habits such as smoking/drinking and life style..."

"...a profile based on personal background, relationship history, family values and interests -- as well as personality type. A unique Psychographic Matching Process reaches into the basic character and personality traits..."
The phenomenon is overwhelming that almost all people in the matchmaking service industry truly believe compatibility is the golden rule for success...in love and marriage relationships.

By B Leung

Back from vacation

Hi Everybody,

I am back from a vacation ! Apologies for not reverting.

Queries have piled up a lot. Will revert in batches.

Thanks for waiting patiently.

God Bless !

Five Self Love Tips for Healthier Relationships

What is the secret of a healthy and loving relationship? It isn't communication, mutual interests, personality compatibility or even chemistry. The secret to a healthy relationship is-loving yourself. Loving yourself takes on many different forms-- self respect, self care, self trust, self worth, and responsibility for yourself.

Self Respect

So often we go around feeling empty inside and hoping someone will come along and fill up that empty feeling for us in a relationship. That prince or princess of our dreams will ride in on a white horse and save us from a life of misery. When someone comes along, and at first seems great but the red flags start flying up, we might ignore those signs if we lack the self respect to see them.

No one should ever ask us to compromise ourselves for their sake or the sake of the relationship. If you ever give into these kinds of demands the relationship is doomed from the start. That isn't to say healthy compromise in a loving relationship is disrespecting yourself, to the contrary, but if you are constantly giving yourself up for another person, you will never have a healthy relationship.

Self Care

You can't expect anyone else to love you if you don't love yourself. And this includes taking care of your health and hygiene. Smoking and drinking, and doing dangerous things is not only unloving to a partner, it is unloving to yourself.

Make time for yourself to exercise and to eat a healthy diet. Get your hair done, shave, trim your beard. Set aside a budget for new clothing. Taking care of your physical needs is not selfish it is self full.

Self Trust

If someone wants you to do something and you don't feel good about it, you have a nagging inner voice telling you it is a good idea, but you do it anyway to appease the other person, you are not loving or trusting yourself. Believe that you do know what is best for you. No one else can tell you that.

Trusting yourself includes trusting your own decision making and not relying on someone else to make tough decisions for you. Don't give your decision over to another person, and then be disappointed when you don't get what you want.

Self Worth

You deserve a good relationship. In fact, you deserve all that life has to offer. Tell yourself, "Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better." The power of positive self talk is very real. The thing is that most of the time our self talk is negative and through it we reinforce negative beliefs and thoughts about ourselves. Whatever you want you can have. Begin today to believe it.

Responsibility for Yourself

No one else is responsible for you but you. If you blame your partner for your life or your relationship being the way it is, you will only create more negative situations. If you aren't actively doing any of the things on this list, you are in danger of not taking responsibility for yourself. What most of us did not learn in school or from our parents is that we have absolute power over our own lives.

So begin to look at yourself, your own feelings. Examine your desires, what you truly want, and begin to go after them. Forgive your partner for whatever might have happened in the past and start to look toward a future where you are the master of your own life and there is no one to blame, there is no anger, no resentment, and no control.

By Annabelle Fogerty