Archive for February 2010

Over Possesiveness | Love Problems

Lately I've been feeling a little insecure in my relationship. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 10 months. He is a very down to earth and respectful person. He shows me so much affection and I know we really do love eachother. Last summer for his birthday his brother took him to Vegas for 4 nights. One night he never called me which was strange because he's never done that before. The story he gave me seemed untrue. He said he drank too much and fell asleep and his phone was in the other room charging where his friend had been with a girl. I let it go. I recently found out he is going back to Vegas for his brothers bachelor party but he never told me when he booked it he had only mentioned he "might be going". Naturally, I was hurt that he didnt tell me everything and all the details because that isnt the way we are. We tell eachother everything. When i asked him why he did not tell me he said because he knew I wasn't happy about him going and he thought I didnt want to hear anything about it. A day later I found out he had met a group of girls when he was down there and his friend has become close with them so after there trip in Vegas they ended up meeting them out one night. He never told me any of this until now and I feel hurt and its making me feel like I cannot trust him. I honestly don't think he cheated on me or did anything like that but the fact he felt like he couldnt tell me these things hurt me. I feel like he isnt taking this relationship seriously if he's going to hide things that that from me. We spoke about it and he apologized for making me feel this way and hurting me in any way but I am still upset because I know if it were the other way around he would be so mad at me. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't think of me in situations and hes selfish. What should I do?

Hi,

First of all, take a chill pill. See the way you are seeing this relation is quite wrong. Both of you should have comfortable space & freedom to act. Being committed doesn't mean that everything should be done based on mutual interest.

He might have genuinely thought that you would be hurt and that's why he didn't say. Don't over stress on small things it would ultimately ruin the relationship. Whenever you guys meet try to have a fantastic time instead of talking things that would just spoil your & the guys mood. You also hangout with your friends when he is not there, have a ball & enjoy life.

TRY TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY - Trust me you will be the happiest person & your love will remain forever.

Above all you said that he is not cheating then what's the big deal. Give him space & you also consume your private space. Relationship is about feeling good not about finding mistakes.

God Bless !!

Confused in Love | Love Problems

I am in a relationship with a girl from about one and a half years. The problem starts with a friend of her whom she knew a year before me. He had proposed her once before we got in a relationship. Everything was fine then. They became best friends. He made her sister. Then after a year of our relationship he started proposing her again and again. My girlfriend never told me anything. He started telling her he would kill himself, He needs her and all those emotional blackmail things. She told me all this after a month. She said that she even told him that she loves him. They were sort of in a relationship. I was hurt and asked her if she loved him? She said no and then everything ended between them after a few talks. But now the problem is that he is calling her again. He says her that he's gonna wait whole life for her, And he loves her a lot. She told me all this last time we talked. I asked her to stop receiving his calls, she said she cant do that. She says she has ruined his life and she feels very guilty for it. She said she has a very special bonding with him. That was all she said and then hung up. I just donno what to do. We havent talked since 3 days. I really love her a lot and want everything to get normal but now for the first time i am feeling like i am losing her. She doesnt even share anything with me.
Please help..


Hi,

I think you have started doubting your relationship itself. If you are confident about yourself & treat your girl in a very good manner, no matter what, the girl will not think of anything else.

Try to have a good talk with the lady & make her understand that you love her and want to take this relationship to a next level (I am not sure about your age, so do as per your age & condition). Try to build trust, if you are successful in building abundant trust from the lady's perspective then you are home.

Talk & try to solve and above all make her feel special and love her unconditionally.

All the best