Archive for January 2010

Dual minded love

I really need some advice. I have this really nice guy, who likes me and likes my child. He's been an in-and-out kinda guy though. He's always working or at school. But that's about to change as he's about to graduate. From college. He's kind, funny, good for my child and always makes me smile. I enjoy his company and love the ways we have so much in common. Now he's ready to spend alot more time with me and start to get serious. What's the problem you ask? There's another guy. I hate to say this because it sounds so... Slutty?... This guy is the one I've been satisfying my womanly urges with. Bed buddy? Something along the line. He got ripped apart by how a 6 year relationship (not me) ended. He makes me laugh, is a really good friend to me (not just in bed) and always has time to talk. But he's not ready to settle down again just yet, and not quite ready to stop partying. I know he likes me for me, because we've been friends a long time, way before we went there. He's not sure how long it will be before he's ready for a relationship. I really like him too, so I'm not sure what to do. Do I go with the guy who wants to settle in and go from there, or do I wait for the guy who is a wild card never knowing where he'll settle? Please give me some advice.


I get a feeling that the first guy "loves you" and the second guy "likes you", hope you get the difference.

Well, do one thing, confess everything with the first guy and say that you love him but just wanted to be honest. If the guy takes a gulp and still is ready to commit, then trust me you have found a gem of a partner. If he doesn't, then too, you shouldn't be having any hard-feelings towards him as he is being honest, just like you.

But before the conversation make a point that you value this friendship a lot and you would not want to lose it at any cost.

Hope it helps !

Thanks for writing

College Love

I have a huge crush on this guy and doing all kinds of wierd things just to see him and be near him.He probably just takes me as a joke since he laughs whenever he sees me.I got to know that he likes poetry so i wrote him this poem oon how its so easy for guy to approach a girl he likes but a no win situation for a girl.We are in the same college and he is my senior and I have seen him a lot of times looking at me and we wre in the treasure hunt and debate too but in his reply he said he liked the poem but he has no idea who I was and so I just told him to forget the whole thing and that it was just a dare but he happened to tell so many people and now people just stare my way.I know I sound all stupid and confused and thats because I am...I still like him in the sense I am all red when he is around,increase my trips to the washroom just in order to catch a glimpse of him...please I am freaking out here !!!help me out!!


Probably you are one of the most wonderful lovers, anyway thats not the point.

Sometimes when you give over importance to somebody, the other person just start taking you for granted. Do one thing, just start ignoring him. Even if he is around just behave normally and dont acknowledge his presence at all.

Anyway even after so many attempts if he doesnt acknowledge your love then probably he doesnt deserve your wonderful love. Practice the ignorance act and if your earlier good deeds have impacted then that guy will approach you.

There is a love philosophy "Love is a bird, set it free. If it is yours it will come back, if it doesn't, it was never yours"

Good Luck !!

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The Trust Factor

hi i am very much confused abiutmy relation bcz i love one guy from past three years ago , he also love me , but his character is doubting attitude, he is not allow to talk with any one even with my cousins or friends ,if i am friendly with them he start connecting affairs with them only he wont think they r elder or younger than me plz get me a suggestion? wt shall i do ? but i love him so much , i cant forget him, plz get me a suggestion plz


Tell him bluntly that you love him and you are ready for a committed relationship, but it is completely impossible to be a prison-bound girl who cannot talk with anybody else.

See, his behavior might be because of over possessiveness. Don't get into a fight but make him understand calmly that whenever he relates you with somebody else it is reducing the value of relation, his respect in your eyes and above all IT HURTS YOU VERY MUCH.

He will understand.

God bless !!

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Lond Distance Relationship

Hi Iam Sh...

I have a girlfriend and we both are very much serious.... even our fly members knows abt us so thier is no issue of getting married........ we both going around from past 1yr and 4months...... but as nw iam working in dubai and she in india......... she was very good earlier but nw as we agrue for everything and fight for everything .........i feel as if she not interested in me any more..........i want mental peace........ i asked her several times if u not happy then will break off but she says dont want.... iam totally confused....... plz gv me proper advice for this

Hi Sh..

Long distance relationship (LDR) has its own disadvantages, though yours is not exactly an LDR from the day 1 but yes eventually it turned out to be an LDR. See, if fight happens or argument comes up it doesn't mean that the other person is low in interest, there might have been some misunderstanding. So primarily try to understand the problem and then act accordingly. With you miles away she might also be upset and the problem might be that with all things favorable you didn't propose her before moving to Dubai. Rather than asking for a break-up, take a step further, initiate and propose her for marriage. Also send a cute gift to her, need not be expensive but something that will touch her heart :)

Hope it helps !! Good luck

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SMS Love Mishap

Myself MV,

Actually i m in fdalling in love wid a girl in my coaching but i think dat she doesnot love . 6 months earlier we were talking normally , but due to an sms we were not talking each other . so i just want to get back dat friendship., so the ques is how...? please help......

Hello MV

Love cannot be gained by compulsion or pressure it has to come within. The girl might not be viewing you in terms of a relation. You said there were some misunderstanding because of a message. Send her an apology message, meet up and confess your mistake. There on get her confidence and commit that you are just a friend and nothing further will happen. I think this should help.

If she gains some trust in you and she herself wants to proceed further then it is a bonus :). But at this juncture dont expect her to come back. Just be honest with your words & deeds.

Thanks for writing