Archive for 2010

Love & Pain

hello,



first of all i would like to tell you, you r really doing good job to save the relationship...






i m in relationship from last 6years startings days was so nice so romantic after 7month everything went down into hill..


fight has enter, irritation starts frustation takes d new places in our relation.. just cz of not having a trust..


i found out my guy was having a online affairs with anothers girls and hes sending text to them with his email id and mobile no..


i asked him hes lie my friend did this from my id.. we had fight then you know in relationship on and off going on..


we joined d college together i saw there many girls r saying hello to him and not to me,, try to sort off but he didnt satifly me with his answer,,


i was start having a doubt that after finising d class he use to pick d girl from our college and doing droping duites . i never come to know cz i used to go home with my dad.. my dad is so strict .. i havent got a chanace to c him with whom hes going...






while writing to you my heartbit is pumping so fast and its paining too, then he start having a bad behaviour with me after 7month i mean i met him in 2005 so from janurary to august was good time after then that thier is alws screaming abusing hitting all sort off thing were going on in our relationship..


life was totally finished i was treating very badly alws torching i lost my freedom my momdad lock me at home


no purmission to go out not even for college, life become hell.


anyhow i covence my dad i complete my qualification but there was no enjoyment






from last 3years hes having a another relationshipp with some1 , hes making her to lisen my conversation , while talking to me on d fone he alws put me on d loud to make her lisen that wht we talk.. while talking to me on d fone he alws message her...


actually he doesnt have anything to spk to me just hes calling and talking to me for 10minutes and rest off time he is telling me to speak ...


he goes out wd friends he works he knows about life so wht he want me to speak , i m alws sitting inside of house not having friend due to restriction .


and if once i start speaking to him he cut me and trying to edit , its such a irritating things .


life is gone i m still crying when my hubby my jaan my baby wil leave this all ...


at last everyday fight i cant take it, he puropsley make me to feel that c some1 is lising our conversation or c i m riting text to her .when i ask wht was that sound he s like you r mentally ill, you lisen some noise but i cant, trust me while riting this all my heart is just coming out and screaming and saying its very unfair..


i had given five years and still with memories but i havent got anything and i never demand..


but he hurts me when he liying to me, i never want him to trouble but he alws create prob in my life


im full i dont want any guy


now i have taken a decision not to talk to him bcz there is no use.. its going to b 1week and i havent spoke to him


truely my sister is still in contact with him and she told hes still d same nothing change, for whom he is doing keepon messgin infornt of everyonecall n\making her badly gf to lisen each and every things..


this has been told by many person whom he talk to him


i have no soild prrof or evidence and hes still making fool


i cant rite more bcz my heart is paining very badly but i m really in love him, i wish he wil decided wht he want , i wish he wil feel whos best for him, there is no hope if im not there hes busy talking and chatting with another girls


is every guy do this? is every guy want keep d option aside?


i need your help to come out from all this//


his parents know about me they want him to marry me but wht is d use until unless hes mentally prepared. hes ready to marry me if in one week he cant stop talking to that girl wht he wil do after marriage, i cant go everytime with him?


hes not loyal also if he wil tel me i have in this serious relationship i wil accept him but hes not telling its horrible feeling


even i had a friend but i told him today in fight he taunt me with those name... if i wil go back to him wil he ever change? no o dont think so if he want to he change in one day... my younger sister told that my dad is looking groom for my sis , hes like good she wil b happy


his talking style is full of taunting, irritating., misbeahving. and hes not matured..


for got sake wil you tell me wht type of relation its ? its love its time pass its just played with my heart including his family


in my life wil i get someone who can just loveme? i dont k my beauiful relationship has changed into ugly ..


 
Nick Replies:
 
Phewwww that was loads of issues you are carrying in your head little girl. I think this might have consumed a lot of energy & time. See I can judge one thing from your problem, you are a victim of MISTRUST.  If you were sure about he having affir with some other girls in the 7th month itself why did you drag this so long.
 
Because you stayed on with loads of doubt & restlessness it just went worse. You always feared of losing hin and the fact is you never had him. See, you should relax for a while, yake a break, go for a vacation with your friends. Give time to yourself from this relation, I feel you will definitely meet a guy who will just love for the person you are. Take deep breath & just understand that Love is a part of life not LIFE ITSELF.
 
As an immediate step -- GIVE YOURSELF A TREAT, GO FOR SHOPPING, GO OUTING & BE WITH FRIENDS. It would ease out a lot.
 
Take care,
God bless !

Boyfriend Confusion

hi
i m in 9th std. I have my loving and caring boyfriend but after i accepted his porposal the next day my crush proposed me so what can i do???????whom should i go with????????my loving boyfriend or my crush whom i love very much.

Hi,

Very interesting :) . In 9th standard you have time to do all this--:)

Well coming to your question, always in life choose somebody who will love you. In the long run you will have a pleasant experience.

I would also like to tell you to concentrate on studies rather than getting into these relations. You have ample amount of time, you might be barely 12 or 13 and its a very vulnerable age. Do well in studies other things will fall in place at the right time.

God Bless !

Want my Ex back


Hi,

In my life there was one boy in my life sine 5 years but he cheat with me for other girl he told that girl about me that he is not love on me and that girl also told him to live me but i cant leave without him i realy love on him he is not ready to talk with me he forget me but cant forget him he dont care about me now i want he back in my life please give me sollution what i have to do please help me.

thanx

Hi,

I have been continuously saying the same thing that in relationship you can;t achieve anything by force. If a boy doesn't feel any emotion even after 5 years then why do you want him to come back.

Leave it lady, that boy doesn't deserve a gem like you. Your love has been pure and that is the way it should be. I know it would take some time for you to adjust to the new phase of life, but trust me being strong would be a complete change in your personality. It will give a new dimension to your life.

Don't force him to come back. Start developing a new hobby, it could be reading. music , stitching, cooking or whatever, start it, keep yourself busy and MOVE ON.

 YOUR LIFE IS NOT DEPENDENT ON ANYBODY. It is just what you create it. Be brave, love yourself and take care.

God Bless

School Love

Hi i m xyz,

When i was in 7th std a boy in my class used to stare me, smile at me, always finding ways to talk to me...... he used to sometimes aswel sing song

He used to be happy in my happiness and sad in my sadness slowly this continued and we reached in our 10th std . me as well as my friend realised that maybe he loves me but he never confessed it to me. He is extremely shy boy very intelligent and thinks of the world more than himself. Now even i am in love with him . now he is my college aswel . i have confessed myself to him but yet he has not responded. My friends had smsd him askng about him but he replied that he is not interested in all this thing. But i love him a lot . what should i do now?


Hi,

There is a famous saying when love comes into picture - "Love is a free bird, set it free. If it comes back, it is all yours, if it doesn't come back it was never yours". Set your love free, love him but don't be possessive, if he has feelings he will definitely come back.

Anyway you are in high-school so concentrate on your studies, let him also study well. Let your love grow with time and it will be yours. Be positive, all good things will happen to you.

In the meanwhile you talk to him & say that you had confessed what you thought & that doesn't mean that he has to have the same feelings.

Keep the friendship & try to be a part of his feelings.

Thanks,

Mistrust in Love

Hi this is xyz,
I have been in a relationship with agirl for the past 2 and half years
and ours is a long distance relationship,and all this while i have
been very possesive of her,i used to scold her if she spoke to any
other guy especially if she spoke to any one in the social networking
sites,so initially she used to tell me whatever she did, to whom she
spoke but after a series of such misunderstandings between us she
stopped telling me and i thoght that she had stopped speakin to other
guys.but just about a month back she had confessed to me that there
was one guy whom she had met in a social networking site,she had given
him her phone number and they became quite close to each other
emotionally though she never met him physically,she had even told him
that she was committed but that guy always used to advice her to break
off with me but she never wanted to break up with me so she told me
everything n even broke all contacts with that guy, but this incident
had devastated me and my trusts on her is gone.so i started to check
all of her emails and social networking profiles n found out that
there were many guys with whom she used to speak online n on the phone
with some but had never told me.she had even met 1 guy recently but
that was a very official meet not a date (as she told me) now she had
told me all the truth about everything, and even promised me that
these wont ever happen again,but i have lost all my trust in her i had
even asked her to break up with me hearing which she completely broke
down and started crying, I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED NOW, I DONT WANT TO
BREAK UP BUT I CANT EVEN TRUST HER A BIT AND WITHOUT TRUST I DONT
THINK THE RELATIONSHIP WILL LAST LONG.
I WILL BE VERY MUCH GREATFUL TO YOU IF YOU GIVE ME SOME
ADVICE,SIR/MAAM I AM REALLY BANKING ON YOU, my relationship is at
stake please please help me out.

Hi,

First of all let me tell you that YOU ARE NOT A TRUSTWORTHY GUY, sorry for being blunt but that's the fact. What is the problem if your girl speaks with a guy or even meets him, don't you meet any girls or talk with any girl. Does she create a ruckus about it ? I don't think so.

It's not a matter of possessiveness, its a matter of unwanted mistrust you carry. If you are in a relationship make it unconditional love. Based on your email I find that your lady is absolutely a fantastic person and the problem lies in you. Believe me if you behave in the way you are doing currently, then you don't deserve that lady.

Just see the commitment the lady is showing, even after continuous effort from a boy who forced her to have a break up with you she didn't do it. Don't you find a great effort put by your lady to this relationship.

Above all you want her to apologize for her behavior, I think you should go & apologize to her for your behavior. Understand one thing, being in a relation doesn't mean that a person is a slave of another person. Everybody has their own personal space & if you continue to behave like this then it is for sure that the lady will be uncomfortable & break this relationship.

Grow Up, Be happy that you are blessed with a wonderful partner. I am serious, go & confront your mistakes with her & take a smooth ride instead of doubting your partner.


Again I am sorry for being blunt.

Thanks

I love my Ex-Girlfriend's best friend

i really need sum advice..
a year back i had dumped dis girl before her b'day..because of that i had spoilt my reputation infront of her friends..now after 1 year i like a girl who's her best friend and i dont know wat to do..,i dont think that she wud ever say yes to me because i was the one who dumped her best friend nd she wud think dat i will do the same thing with her..
please help...

Hi,

First of all I don't know what is the reason you dumped your earlier girl. If it was a genuine reason then there should be no problem in confronting you thoughts to the new girl OR else try to asses her feelings towards you.

Try to understand her feeling through some common friend and then take a next step. As I said majorly things depend on the reason why you dumped your ex-girlfriend. If it was a rude, selfish decision and her group sympathizes the lady then it might be tough for you to convince her friend.

Thanks,

God Bless

I Love A Girl | I am confused

I have been seeing my girlfriend for about two years now and we have been living together for the last six months. I am 24 and she is 21, and we have similar goals in life and are very compatible. Our relationships was a shock to the both of us as we found each other appealing in a way we never thought we would. She is my everything and I am hers. We are very much in love and would do anything for one another. We are each other's biggest supporter. Although things are great, I have a couple concerns in our relationship that I am able to bring to her attention, but when we communicate about them, nothing ever really gets resolved. Our families and mutual friends are supportive of our relationship, but she is having difficulty telling her friends that are not mutual amongst us. I have told my friends about my relationship and when ex boyfriends contact me, I let them know I am happily taken by someone awesome. However, this is not the case for her. She will talk to them, and when asked if she is seeing anyone she always replies "no." I have told her several times that this is hurtful, but still nothing has been done. She is worried that it will shatter her reputation or friendships if they find out she is dating a girl.

Furthermore we used to be much more physically intimate. We are both not hardcore about sexuality and doing things on a daily basis, but we would fool around weekly. We have not touched each other sexually for over 5 months now. I have brought it to her attention that I find this time frame a little alarming and asked her if it is indicative of her wanting other things/new relationship/space etc. It is beginning to wear on me and I notice myself distancing myself from her. She asks why and I tell her its because it is apparent she needs space. She tells me she loves me and is in love with me, but I am just struggling to believe it now.

Four months into our relationship she kissed another guy but was honest and told me a few days after it had happened. I forgave, and never bring it to her attention anymore -- that is part of forgiving. Most recently she contacted an ex-boyfriend via facebook and told him that she was sorry she was short with him the other day and that she actually missed him. I asked her if they had been facebooking him and she said no. It was not until I had to confront her and tell her that I saw her facebook left open that she began to explain herself. This is also not the first time she has been flirty via facebook messages to guys. Her friends have no idea we are dating so she feels the need to look as if she is still interested in guys.

I love her very much, but her actions are beginning to show signs of warning. I bring these things to her attention and she thinks I am just overreacting because she loves me and would never do anything to hurt me.

So, what is my problem? Any advice?

Hi,

Hmmm... Honestly this is one of a kind relationship I am giving advice on, but then love has no borders , no conditions & no limits.

Well you both are in a sensitive relationship. It might be true that the other lady loves you a lot & would not want to hurt you but then she might also have started thinking about the conventional way of it, atleast on the physical side of things.

It is pretty natural for people to get inclined towards opposite sex, I think you should not worry about it, talk to her and just try to say that you are also sort of getting attracted to a male. See her reactions, if she supports you understand that she likes you very much but wants to get conventional.

Coming to your question, what is you problem -- Well your problem is "Over-possessiveness" . Its good to like & love somebody but don't impose love on anybody it eventually gets destroyed. Just give her the required space, if she is getting close to somebody else it is her choice well it definitely has you too involved but then a relationship happens with 2 people. In the meanwhile you also re-assess & analyze what you want on the long run, is it this or a conventional relationship.

Just take a break & think about it.

ONE THING I AM SURE THE OTHER LADY LOVES YOU A LOT & BELIEVES IN KEEPING YOU HAPPY. SO YOU TOO DISCUSS IT WITH HER & IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY, SUPPORT HER

Over Possesiveness | Love Problems

Lately I've been feeling a little insecure in my relationship. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 10 months. He is a very down to earth and respectful person. He shows me so much affection and I know we really do love eachother. Last summer for his birthday his brother took him to Vegas for 4 nights. One night he never called me which was strange because he's never done that before. The story he gave me seemed untrue. He said he drank too much and fell asleep and his phone was in the other room charging where his friend had been with a girl. I let it go. I recently found out he is going back to Vegas for his brothers bachelor party but he never told me when he booked it he had only mentioned he "might be going". Naturally, I was hurt that he didnt tell me everything and all the details because that isnt the way we are. We tell eachother everything. When i asked him why he did not tell me he said because he knew I wasn't happy about him going and he thought I didnt want to hear anything about it. A day later I found out he had met a group of girls when he was down there and his friend has become close with them so after there trip in Vegas they ended up meeting them out one night. He never told me any of this until now and I feel hurt and its making me feel like I cannot trust him. I honestly don't think he cheated on me or did anything like that but the fact he felt like he couldnt tell me these things hurt me. I feel like he isnt taking this relationship seriously if he's going to hide things that that from me. We spoke about it and he apologized for making me feel this way and hurting me in any way but I am still upset because I know if it were the other way around he would be so mad at me. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't think of me in situations and hes selfish. What should I do?

Hi,

First of all, take a chill pill. See the way you are seeing this relation is quite wrong. Both of you should have comfortable space & freedom to act. Being committed doesn't mean that everything should be done based on mutual interest.

He might have genuinely thought that you would be hurt and that's why he didn't say. Don't over stress on small things it would ultimately ruin the relationship. Whenever you guys meet try to have a fantastic time instead of talking things that would just spoil your & the guys mood. You also hangout with your friends when he is not there, have a ball & enjoy life.

TRY TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY - Trust me you will be the happiest person & your love will remain forever.

Above all you said that he is not cheating then what's the big deal. Give him space & you also consume your private space. Relationship is about feeling good not about finding mistakes.

God Bless !!

Confused in Love | Love Problems

I am in a relationship with a girl from about one and a half years. The problem starts with a friend of her whom she knew a year before me. He had proposed her once before we got in a relationship. Everything was fine then. They became best friends. He made her sister. Then after a year of our relationship he started proposing her again and again. My girlfriend never told me anything. He started telling her he would kill himself, He needs her and all those emotional blackmail things. She told me all this after a month. She said that she even told him that she loves him. They were sort of in a relationship. I was hurt and asked her if she loved him? She said no and then everything ended between them after a few talks. But now the problem is that he is calling her again. He says her that he's gonna wait whole life for her, And he loves her a lot. She told me all this last time we talked. I asked her to stop receiving his calls, she said she cant do that. She says she has ruined his life and she feels very guilty for it. She said she has a very special bonding with him. That was all she said and then hung up. I just donno what to do. We havent talked since 3 days. I really love her a lot and want everything to get normal but now for the first time i am feeling like i am losing her. She doesnt even share anything with me.
Please help..


Hi,

I think you have started doubting your relationship itself. If you are confident about yourself & treat your girl in a very good manner, no matter what, the girl will not think of anything else.

Try to have a good talk with the lady & make her understand that you love her and want to take this relationship to a next level (I am not sure about your age, so do as per your age & condition). Try to build trust, if you are successful in building abundant trust from the lady's perspective then you are home.

Talk & try to solve and above all make her feel special and love her unconditionally.

All the best

Dual minded love


I really need some advice. I have this really nice guy, who likes me and likes my child. He's been an in-and-out kinda guy though. He's always working or at school. But that's about to change as he's about to graduate. From college. He's kind, funny, good for my child and always makes me smile. I enjoy his company and love the ways we have so much in common. Now he's ready to spend alot more time with me and start to get serious. What's the problem you ask? There's another guy. I hate to say this because it sounds so... Slutty?... This guy is the one I've been satisfying my womanly urges with. Bed buddy? Something along the line. He got ripped apart by how a 6 year relationship (not me) ended. He makes me laugh, is a really good friend to me (not just in bed) and always has time to talk. But he's not ready to settle down again just yet, and not quite ready to stop partying. I know he likes me for me, because we've been friends a long time, way before we went there. He's not sure how long it will be before he's ready for a relationship. I really like him too, so I'm not sure what to do. Do I go with the guy who wants to settle in and go from there, or do I wait for the guy who is a wild card never knowing where he'll settle? Please give me some advice.

Hi,

I get a feeling that the first guy "loves you" and the second guy "likes you", hope you get the difference.

Well, do one thing, confess everything with the first guy and say that you love him but just wanted to be honest. If the guy takes a gulp and still is ready to commit, then trust me you have found a gem of a partner. If he doesn't, then too, you shouldn't be having any hard-feelings towards him as he is being honest, just like you.

But before the conversation make a point that you value this friendship a lot and you would not want to lose it at any cost.

Hope it helps !

Thanks for writing

College Love


I have a huge crush on this guy and doing all kinds of wierd things just to see him and be near him.He probably just takes me as a joke since he laughs whenever he sees me.I got to know that he likes poetry so i wrote him this poem oon how its so easy for guy to approach a girl he likes but a no win situation for a girl.We are in the same college and he is my senior and I have seen him a lot of times looking at me and we wre in the treasure hunt and debate too but in his reply he said he liked the poem but he has no idea who I was and so I just told him to forget the whole thing and that it was just a dare but he happened to tell so many people and now people just stare my way.I know I sound all stupid and confused and thats because I am...I still like him in the sense I am all red when he is around,increase my trips to the washroom just in order to catch a glimpse of him...please I am freaking out here !!!help me out!!

Hi,

Probably you are one of the most wonderful lovers, anyway thats not the point.

Sometimes when you give over importance to somebody, the other person just start taking you for granted. Do one thing, just start ignoring him. Even if he is around just behave normally and dont acknowledge his presence at all.

Anyway even after so many attempts if he doesnt acknowledge your love then probably he doesnt deserve your wonderful love. Practice the ignorance act and if your earlier good deeds have impacted then that guy will approach you.

There is a love philosophy "Love is a bird, set it free. If it is yours it will come back, if it doesn't, it was never yours"

Good Luck !!

Thanks for writing

The Trust Factor


hi i am very much confused abiutmy relation bcz i love one guy from past three years ago , he also love me , but his character is doubting attitude, he is not allow to talk with any one even with my cousins or friends ,if i am friendly with them he start connecting affairs with them only he wont think they r elder or younger than me plz get me a suggestion? wt shall i do ? but i love him so much , i cant forget him, plz get me a suggestion plz

Hi,

Tell him bluntly that you love him and you are ready for a committed relationship, but it is completely impossible to be a prison-bound girl who cannot talk with anybody else.

See, his behavior might be because of over possessiveness. Don't get into a fight but make him understand calmly that whenever he relates you with somebody else it is reducing the value of relation, his respect in your eyes and above all IT HURTS YOU VERY MUCH.

He will understand.

God bless !!

Thanks for writing

Lond Distance Relationship

Hi Iam Sh...

I have a girlfriend and we both are very much serious.... even our fly members knows abt us so thier is no issue of getting married........ we both going around from past 1yr and 4months...... but as nw iam working in dubai and she in india......... she was very good earlier but nw as we agrue for everything and fight for everything .........i feel as if she not interested in me any more..........i want mental peace........ i asked her several times if u not happy then will break off but she says dont want.... iam totally confused....... plz gv me proper advice for this

Hi Sh..

Long distance relationship (LDR) has its own disadvantages, though yours is not exactly an LDR from the day 1 but yes eventually it turned out to be an LDR. See, if fight happens or argument comes up it doesn't mean that the other person is low in interest, there might have been some misunderstanding. So primarily try to understand the problem and then act accordingly. With you miles away she might also be upset and the problem might be that with all things favorable you didn't propose her before moving to Dubai. Rather than asking for a break-up, take a step further, initiate and propose her for marriage. Also send a cute gift to her, need not be expensive but something that will touch her heart :)

Hope it helps !! Good luck

Thanks for writing

SMS Love Mishap


Myself MV,

Actually i m in fdalling in love wid a girl in my coaching but i think dat she doesnot love . 6 months earlier we were talking normally , but due to an sms we were not talking each other . so i just want to get back dat friendship., so the ques is how...? please help......

Hello MV

Love cannot be gained by compulsion or pressure it has to come within. The girl might not be viewing you in terms of a relation. You said there were some misunderstanding because of a message. Send her an apology message, meet up and confess your mistake. There on get her confidence and commit that you are just a friend and nothing further will happen. I think this should help.

If she gains some trust in you and she herself wants to proceed further then it is a bonus :). But at this juncture dont expect her to come back. Just be honest with your words & deeds.

Thanks for writing