Archive for March 2008

Broken Heart

Hi,
I'm a 54 year old women, I fell in love with a 66 year old man. We were in a relationship for about 6 months. We were very happy, we enjoyed each others company however he broke off the relationship because he did not trust me or believe me. In all the time we were together I never lied to him or gave him any cause not to trust me. He broke off the relationship because it took me one hour and forty minutes to get home from my mothers. I called him about 10 p.m. to tell him I was getting ready to leave my mothers house. However I stood talking with my mother and left around 11:15p.m. and got home at 11:40. He got very angry and didn't want to talk or discuss any thing with me. I got upset and wasn't feeling well so I turn off the ringer and the volume of my answering machine. I took some cough medicine and went to bed. When I got up in the morning I saw he had called and left a message at 5:45 in the morning. I returned his call right away and he acused me of not being home. He refuse to believe I was home sleeping. He refuse to discuss the matter. I"m very hurt. I'm in a lot of emotional pain. I need to know how can I fix this. What can I do to deal with a person that is untrusting ? How can I make him feel secure of my love ? How can I convince someone who is very stubborn and refuses to listen or talk to me that he has made a mistake.

Help, N

Hi N,
First of all I would like to appreciate & thank you for the fact that, it's people like you who keep the feeling of love alive.

Coming to your problem:
See, the major ingredient to keep a love relation happy & ongoing is "Trust". You have been very loyal and trustworthy. I would like to ask some questions here:

  • Did you convey the complete message as it is to your partner ?
  • Did you tell him what made you late to move from your mother's place ?
  • Did you tell him what made you lower the volume of answering machine & why weren't you picking up the phone ?

Just tell him to meet you, make it a casual meeting. Tell him that you value & appreciate his decision but you would like to talk him for a while. I feel he would oblige to this request. Tell him the happenings that night with a clean heart, mind & soul. Express your feelings (I am sure you might have done this but do it again) . Tell him how much you love him and what is your mental state after this mishap. Express the fact that you are not at all happy without his presence in your life and he makes your life feel very special. Tell these things with complete honesty & innocence. If he really loves you he will understand you & your feelings. If he is not ready to meet you send an e-mail / snail-mail to him explaining the happenings

Even after saying all these things he is stubborn and doesn't trust you, probably he is not the right guy for you. Tell him patiently that probably his decision is right and you appreciate it because trust is the most important thing in a relation and in the relation between both of you it seems to be absent.

But I am pretty much sure that he will understand your feelings and this will not happen henceforth.

So sweetheart, cheer-up, express your feeling & leave the rest to the super-powerful "Almighty". One more thing while you say all these things feel very confident that you are going to convince him and get him back to your life. That itself will give you the positive energy to express your feelings in the most perfect manner. Don't be in a sympathetic mode because you have not done anything wrong. You have tried to maintain this relationship and I understand that you value this a lot too. I repeat again don't be in a sympathetic mode at all it will give more pain, accept the fact that you have been loyal to this relationship & somebody is challenging your values and dignity. So be strong & I am sure you will be able to convince him & continue this beautiful journey of love.

Ok dear, hope this works out for you. Hope for the best ...

Thanks for writing,

Neptune

Preparing for a date

It might be magic moment for you to a date with someone special, and now you've got the chance to make an impression. Preparing for a date can be nerve-wracking, but can be approached in a step-by-step manner that'll assure you make it to your date fully prepared. The rest depends on one individual and that's YOU.

Steps
Do some homework.
In the days before a date, take time out to catch up with current events and hot topics. These are great conversation starters and you will be able to impress your date with your knowledge. Try to remember as much as you can about previous conversations together so you can follow up on them. Have a couple of funny stories or conversation pieces up your sleeve in case you need them.

Start looking and feeling good in advance.
Set time aside for exercise in the days before the date, whether it's yoga or push ups. Eat well and get plenty of sleep.

Pick your clothes early.
You should have several outfits laid out before the day of the date. This way you won't have any last minute panics when you realize you have a spaghetti stain down your favourite shirt. Plus, it will allow you to try on a few different looks on the day of the date and see which one fits your mood most comfortably at the time.

Clean up on the day of the date.
Take a nice, long shower or bath. Ensure you have clean hair and nails. You should smell good, but not overpowering. Avoid heavy perfumes and aftershaves, especially if your date could be allergic. Ladies, go easy when applying make-up and aim for a natural but groomed look. If things go well he will eventually see you without make-up - and you will want him to recognize you at that point. Shortly before leaving for your date, floss and brush your teeth thoroughly.

Think positively.
You're going out to enjoy yourself, after all. Don't start worrying about what disasters could happen, because that way they are far more likely to. If you are getting nervous, call a good friend, watch your favourite comedy show or listen to upbeat music. Loosen up. Focus on having fun and you inevitably will.

Be punctual.
Give yourself plenty of time to get to your rendezvous. Keeping your date waiting will start things off on the wrong foot.

Warnings

1. Be sure to always have a cell phone and cash for a cab so that you never feel you have to rely on your date for a ride home.
2. Always be careful about alcoholic intake.
3. Don't Do Drugs

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Prepare for a Date. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.