Archive for 2008

Article - Serious Relationship - How to judge a serious relationship

Below is an article by Raphael Ekpenyong, the article is kept brief and clear so that anybody can judge the seriousness of his / her relationship. I found it interesting and probably it might be useful for you guys !

How to know a serious relationship
By Raphael Ekpenyong

It is often cumbersome and brainstorming to determine if the relationship you are into is a serious one or not.

In trying to do this there are some factors or things you must look out for:

1. The two parties in the relationship must have ceased to have personal secrets. They must have opened up about their lives to each other. If there are additional children i.e children out of wedlock.

2. The two parties in the relationship must have ceased to communicate or see singles. Their major aim is now to always interact and be with each other

3. The two parties in the relationship must have ceased to work on individual grounds. They should now see themselves as being one and as such work towards achieving each other's goal and aspirations. They must give 100% of themselves: mind, body and soul in the relationship

4. The two parties in the relationship must have ceased to participate in online dating and opt out of such sites by volition and not duress.

5. The two parties in the relationship must have ceased to be obsessed towards each and face the reality and settle down to the real business of relationship.

6. The two parties in the relationship must have ceased to be thinking and seeing each other as two separate entities.

7. The two parties in the relationship must have ceased to distrust each other. They must now have 100% trust for each other

8. The two parties in the relationship must be plain and truthful to each other

For more resources visit
http://www.1accordromance.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Raphael_Ekpenyong

I Love the same guy


hi im in grade 11 girl!!!one of my friend loves a guy truly!!!!that guy acted as if he loved her then after some time he ditched her badly he started spreadin rumours about her!!!actually the guy she loves is the guy I love!she comes to me everyday and starts cryin in front of me!she says plzzz help me but at last I luv that guy!!wat to do plzzzzzzzz help!!!!

Hi,

Trust me -- If a guy can't respect a woman & spread rumours about her then he doesn't deserve anybody's love. Make her understand & you also understand. He is not the right guy for a relationship. The same thing can happen to you too, he can spread rumours about you. So beware of these kind of people.

Thanks,

Love Problem - He has started ignoring me


hii m in relationship with this guy for 4 years now.but now he is ignoring me without any reasons when i asked him that u have changed and trying to avoid me he says no i m the same.i even asked him to break up but he is even not ready for that.whenever i try to call him he is always buzy on the phone with someone when i asked him who was there he always give me stupid reasons.i love him very much dont want to leave him what should i do?

Hi,

I think you should stop asking him the same stuff time & again, avoid calling him and let him call. Try this for a week, if he calls you then you should understand that he has feelings for you if he doesnt talk with him and understand what is the problem. If both of you are not comfortable then there is no meaning of a uncomfortable forced relationship.

Thanks,

School Love

m a 15 yr old girl.2 months before a boy in my class proposed me after he broke up with the previous one .he was in love with a girl two yrs younger than him.that girl is still his friend. in the beginning, he was really good and romantic sought but from few days he hardly talks to me.our class teacher is very doubtful and strict,so we dont talk in front of her.but i think he is ignoring me and still having something with that girl.please reply early.i hope u dont reveal my id

Hi Ash,
It's true that love has no age & it starts happening at your age. First of all understand if its love or infatuation. Boys at this age just love to roam around with girls so understand whether he is really serious and honestly you are very young to be committed. Enjoy life dear, there are many good things in life.. Enjoy it. Commitment can come later. Dont get tensed by these things so early, enjoy friendship, enjoy relationship with parents & give time to yourself. I would suggest strongly that dont get into any kind of relationship commitments as of now, gradually it will start restricting you for many things. Every thing should be done at its time and I know love happens instantaneously, but try to be friends first -- understand each other & then go for the next step, give time to yoursef & your partner.

Thanks,

Phone Love

helo,

my story is so different, first time i meet her like this:
i dialled a wrong number.

At first she scoulded me, but after 3 days she became very close to me, from that time am in love with her,
every day we will chat on mobile it'self, after some days, she got medical seat at CMC
she went there, and called me one day. after that every day she calling me or i will call to her friend's mobile to talk with her
yesturday i proposed my "Love", she exactly said like this:
" hey you are my gud friend na? why u said like this? i never expected des from..
my mood is not good, i can't getting how to react for this?"

am very sad..

i dont know what she really said..
plz help me..
1 more thing, till now i didn't seen her. (Love without seeing her).


Hi,

Call her & apologize. Tell her that you are sorry and probably rushed into conclusions. Just inform her that you expressed your feelings. Also say that you will accept whatever she says and wrequest her to continue your friendship

Thanks,

Money Matters

hello: Neptunei am an 18 year-old grade 12 boy.I attend school in one of the good schools in my town.i am in love with a grade 11 girl.When i proposed her, she accepted my love.But not so long, one of my teachers proposed to her now she does not even talk to me,when she does she talks to me as if i am a little boy.She even said that once i have a car and a cellphone, i can come back to talk to her.I am angry with my teacher.I love this girl.I visualized her as my future wife.what should i do? Get rid of the teacher and the girl or myself?"please help!please give more advices by looking at both sides of human rights.

Hi,

See if the lady is asking for materialistic things then probably she dont deserve your love. Try to understand people, watch around there are much better people who will care for you rather than the things you give.

Thanks,

He has changed

hello, i am 20years old and in a relation with a person who is 6 months older to me for three years , in the beginning of the relation every thing worked well but from when he joined college he started changing , we talk each day but hardly for 10mins , he is in his 3rd year , he is also involved in politics , he promised to marry me & we had physical relation too, but now he is finding trouble in the relations, if i call him he feels irritated , he says he is very busy &doesn't have time to meet me regularly , we meet for once in a month, on small issues he speaks of break up, but i love him truely, what should i do? please help me out.

Hi dear,

Understand one thing, in love the most important things are trust & respect. If your lover doesn't respect you then you should maintain your self respect & act accordingly. Your lover might be busy & might be in some tension.

Try to speak with him in person and sort the issue. Speak out your mind he will definitely understand.

Thanks,

I want my love back

Hi Dear sir, first of all i highly admire for helping people with love problems.

My name is asif and i fall in love with a women that broke my heart and left me in the darkness, in the begging of the relationship both of our feeling were the same and beside we had alot in common but now after four months of separation and knowing that at this moment she in relationship with someone else, i know that she is not inlove with person she is with at the moment and knowing that she still have feelings for me but that problem is that i cant get her back no matter waht i do and i want her back becuase i think is the right person for me. what do suggest for me

please advise

sincerly yours


Hi,
I would like to give a short reply to you.

If you believ in love there is a small rule in life.
"If you love someone, set the person free. If the person is your he / she will definitely come back, if they don't then it was never yours"

Hope you got the message.
Thanks,

Pre Marital & Post Marital Relationship

Hi,I am 18 years old girl.i love a married man and he loves me too.My problem is that when it was just starting of our affair,we used to chat for around 2 to 3 hours daily..while chatting,we always did romance..but when i made complete physical relation with him(without sex),he started avoiding me..he would always say that he has very busy routine and does not have time to chat..from the last 10 months,he is behaving like this..he says he loves me truly and when i fight with him for this,he says that i am immature and should understand his situation.he never calls me and never let me call him bcz he wants to be cautious..we hardly talk for about thrice a month on phone,and when we talk,he does not talks for more than 10 minutes..he never replies to my sms now.he says we shuold contact each other via internet only..he replies to my mails,but he never initiates..moreover,he always appear invisible to me in messenger..he says he want freedom..sometimes i have to wait for about an hour to chat with him and even then he chats for not more than 20 min,,and that also twice or thrice a week..the same reason,he says he has very busy routine.we hardly meet.. we used to have physical relation too..when he calls me(once or twice in a month)he wants me to come to his place to have physical relation.we used to have physical relation about twice a month..and now he wants to go for sex also..we had it once,but i cant go for sex in future as i think i am deceiving my family.my family trusts and love me a lot.when i told him that i wont go for physical relation in future,he said that he dont wants to go for love any more and he will be my good friend only!!he is living alone here.his family is in other city and he goes every weekend to meet them.he has a child also..i know our love has no future,,but i love him unconditionally,very truly and deeply.please help me.it is disturbing my studies also.i am a non-medical student an this is the time for my carrier building.i have dropped a year for IIT,but i think about him most of the time and gets upset from his behaviour.i cant concentrate on my studies..i cant understand what is going on!i tried to leave him,but i could not.i love him a lot.non of my friend or family memeber knows about it.i cant discuss my problem with any one of them.please tell me what to do.pls do reply fast. confused

Hi,

As you have accepted in you message that you know this is not right even I would say the same. Just analyze that this relation is not only between both of you, this has to do with many people who are related to both of you. See just think, if you got married & your husband does something like this how would you feel - I am pretty sure you wouldn't like it. Think about his wife & family. From the sounds of it I don't feel he is into any commitment and he is interested only in physical stuff, thats what I gauge.

I would advice to stop this as soon as possible. Concentrate on your studies, it simple you can do it. Just convince yourself that what you are doing is wrong and everything else would follow.

Hope you would be convinced & agree with what I said.

Thanks,

Meeting him for the last time

This is with continuation to your reply. Now anyways i cnt do anythn. he is gettin married in 2-3 months for his mom. he still says tht he loves me... bt i have decided to get far from hm. today i will meet hm for the last time and then i tot of stop callin him. can you reply to me soon if my decision is ryt or wrng. I will stop for his good, for him to live happy in his married life. please reply. thanks

Hey,

To let go is the biggest thing in life & we call it "SACRIFICE".. See love is for ever & probably your decision is perfectly right. Let things happen their way when it comes to relationship, and who knows there might be something better that might be coming your way. Dont worry & trust yourself & God.

I would say that you are doing the right thing. Wish him luck for future & I would like to wish a happy life for you. You are a good lady at heart.

God Bless

I want to solve his brother's problem

You can call me Ann... Im havin a prob is that i love a guy n he too loves me alot.... but after i got into with him and in 2 days i came to know that he wnt be able to marry me because of his family probs. his elder had a love marriage but everythn was ok... the caste, religion everythn bt unfortunately becz of no adjustments they had divorced each other and my guy has been seein all this... i know he luvs me alot but there are a lot of probs in this... the prob is that he is a north indian and im a south indian. he is around 10yrs elder to me n he is not the same religion. infact there are only 2 probs and so he cnt marry me as he knows how his family will react and i dnt want to force him to marry me... i have told him that i wnt tok abt the marriage and wen he goes 4 hs marriage i will stop everythn..
here i want to do only one thing... i want to solve his bro's n wife's prob nt to make my route free bt i want to help him to bring them together.There prob i can explain....... They have the prob of tym... his bro is not being able to giv more time and the lady was stayin abroad so she has been in that way... they have a small child also who is living with his mom....... the prob here is that they have divorced. is there anyway that i can do to bring them together... thats all i want to know.....
please advice

~ann


Hey ann,

There is something known as fate, people can manipulate things to a certain extent but not completely. You try to concentrate on your life and try to make it possible. Try to convince the guy you love & if things go well go ahead. Try to convince him that things will not be the same as his brothers. I will also advice one thing, dont ever push him for a relation, just let it happen. Just try & dont worry everything will be fine. See Ann for you to solve his brothers problem, its possible but very very tough. Because they have realized that they are not comfortable with each other so they wouldn't think in a positive way, atleast not immediately.

So concentrate on your relation & try to convince your man.
Thanks,
Neptune

Friendship & Love


Hii came across the blogspot and thought maybe you could help...i thinkthat i am in love with a former batchmate...it has been 5 years sinceschool but i can't stop thinking about her...during this period i hadmet her few times...our conversations hover around general topics....ihave an inkling that she knows about my feelings but she responds as abatchmate to my messages recently i have been thinking that probably she'd be happy without meand i should let go for her good...but still i can't get her out of myhead ...i am confusedmann

R

Hi R,

The best way to get out of confusion is to destroy the root cause of confusion. It is simple just talk with her. Convey that she is a good friend and request to be a good friend whatever her answer is. Express your feelings in a very sober manner & give her time. Even if she says no dont get disappointed give her time and be good friends.

Thanks,

Respect your partner's / friend's feelings

hi neptune,

tis is sri..........i called her talked 2 her n she was saying tat as she was not interested ..but it seems she is interested in continuing the conversation ....i feel it.....just plz guide me neptune........is ther any way 2 work out? i was not disappointed..ppls say if there is a will, there is a way...so i must have some cool tips in my store naa.........so boss...u guide me in the proper way, being u r the wisest counsellor...


sri.............


Hi Sri,
See in a relation you should respect the other persons feeling too. I would advice that if she is not intersted respect her decision & give her some time. You never know going forward she might be interested. But as of now you should pause your expectations. You are right "If there is a will there is a way", and now the way is you be a very good supportive friend to her.

Give her time - be good friends. Its a lovely feeling to be in a good friendship . Dont over impose her with your feelings. Dont be possessive & restrict her. I am sure if you be a supportive friend of her she might start liking you. But remember one great saying "Love is like a bird, set it free, if it comes back it was yours if it doesnt it was never yours".

So be good friend of your loved one, dont over impose your feelings on her. Good will happen to you.

Thanks,
Neptune

Know your importance in her life


Hey Sri,
hi neptune..........hru?.tis is sri.......... i asked her through msges only..budt did't get even one repply...i tried 2 call her ...but she was not receiving my call..but am sure she scares of sthing...may be..just tell me how 2 sort out tis issue...if i met her directly shld i ask why she is dng so ........plz guide me neptune............

waiting for ur repply

sri................

Hi Sri,

Do one thing for the coming one week dont contact her at all. No phones, no messsages, no chat & no e-mail. You should strictly follow this. This would help you in understanding what you mean to her, if she communicates with you then be very casual and respond only to stuff what she has asked. Just behave with her as an ordinary friend.

Do this without fail. If she doesn't respond then probably she is the not the proper person for you. I don't say she is bad I mean to say that probably both of are not made for each other.

Try following this

Take care & concentrate on other important aspects of your life too.

Thanks

Neptune

Misunderstanding in Relationship

Hi,(I saw this site on the net and thought you could help.)I have or had an ongoing relationship with a girl. And we both told ourselves that we love each other. And a couple of weeks ago we had an misunderstanding and we nearly broke up but later we talked about it and solved it. After that due to some problems at home i didn't contact her for a couple of days but now when i contact her she doesn't receive my calls and turns her mobile off.I can't figure out what's going on and why is she doing this????Can u tell me what to do???or an advice would be great!! T.R.

Hello TR,

  • Primarily you should analyze the root cause of the misunderstanding
  • Try to resolve & rectify all the mistakes that happended from your side
  • Try sending her a text message stating why you couldn't contact her for some days
  • If you know where she commutes go over there without her information and try to talk with her
  • OR Text message her that you would like to meet her and request her to come
  • While doing all the above stuff always respect her feelings and try to understand what she has to say.

Hope this helps

Is this love ?

Hi Neptune,
I saw a girl in my college, I liked her but she is from a different society. I mean she is high class girl and all her friends are high class. What should I do, should I approach her ?


M

Hello M,
See, there is a difference between liking, loving & infatuation. Just wait for some days, understand the feelings of yours. Even after some days you feel the same, approach her and see her reply. While approaching be very cautious as this would be very sensitive matter. Dont hurt her feelings !!

Thanks for writing,
Neptune

Cute Love Quotes

Cute Love Quotes by famous personalities:

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Joan Crawford

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.

Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

James Baldwin

I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.
Henry Ward Beecher


Other men have seen angels, But I have seen thee, And thou art enough.

G. Moore


Came but for friendship, and took away love.

Thomas Moore

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?
Richard Bach

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

Leo Buscaglia


If I am pressed to say why I loved him, I feel it can only be explained by replying: "Because it was he; because it was me."

Montaigne

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.
Rabindranath Tagore


I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it.

Kyle Schmidt




Love Her, but she is avoiding me



hi neptune

tis is sri.... i fell in love wth my cousin ..she stays in other town....jsut little bit distance 2 me...when i go home i used to see her....n rcently she came 2 know abt tat iam her cousin.....n interesting thing is tat i chat wth her...don't talk over phone much.. she did n'tgive me her all these contatct details actually ..i some how got them... so we had chat for some time.....n these days she is avoiding me.... i don understand why she is dng lik tis? n iused to read her scrapbook oftenly..is it the reason for online rejection wat's ur sincere advise to me.. plz help me in this regard.......

thanking u

sri......

Hi Sri,

See, first of all try to gauge that whether she is angry because of the fact that you got her details from a different source. Tell me one thing while you were chatting did you reveal you real identity to her. If not then this is the reason, might be she has understood your real identity. If you told her about real identity then she might have understood the feelings you carry for her and in some communities having a relation with relatives are not very much appreciated might be this is the reason she is avoiding her.

See these are possibilities, the best possible solution is talk with her and understand why is she acting strange. Understand her problem and just let me know, probably I could guide you better at that instant.

Thanks,

Broken Heart

Hi,
I'm a 54 year old women, I fell in love with a 66 year old man. We were in a relationship for about 6 months. We were very happy, we enjoyed each others company however he broke off the relationship because he did not trust me or believe me. In all the time we were together I never lied to him or gave him any cause not to trust me. He broke off the relationship because it took me one hour and forty minutes to get home from my mothers. I called him about 10 p.m. to tell him I was getting ready to leave my mothers house. However I stood talking with my mother and left around 11:15p.m. and got home at 11:40. He got very angry and didn't want to talk or discuss any thing with me. I got upset and wasn't feeling well so I turn off the ringer and the volume of my answering machine. I took some cough medicine and went to bed. When I got up in the morning I saw he had called and left a message at 5:45 in the morning. I returned his call right away and he acused me of not being home. He refuse to believe I was home sleeping. He refuse to discuss the matter. I"m very hurt. I'm in a lot of emotional pain. I need to know how can I fix this. What can I do to deal with a person that is untrusting ? How can I make him feel secure of my love ? How can I convince someone who is very stubborn and refuses to listen or talk to me that he has made a mistake.

Help, N

Hi N,
First of all I would like to appreciate & thank you for the fact that, it's people like you who keep the feeling of love alive.

Coming to your problem:
See, the major ingredient to keep a love relation happy & ongoing is "Trust". You have been very loyal and trustworthy. I would like to ask some questions here:

  • Did you convey the complete message as it is to your partner ?
  • Did you tell him what made you late to move from your mother's place ?
  • Did you tell him what made you lower the volume of answering machine & why weren't you picking up the phone ?

Just tell him to meet you, make it a casual meeting. Tell him that you value & appreciate his decision but you would like to talk him for a while. I feel he would oblige to this request. Tell him the happenings that night with a clean heart, mind & soul. Express your feelings (I am sure you might have done this but do it again) . Tell him how much you love him and what is your mental state after this mishap. Express the fact that you are not at all happy without his presence in your life and he makes your life feel very special. Tell these things with complete honesty & innocence. If he really loves you he will understand you & your feelings. If he is not ready to meet you send an e-mail / snail-mail to him explaining the happenings

Even after saying all these things he is stubborn and doesn't trust you, probably he is not the right guy for you. Tell him patiently that probably his decision is right and you appreciate it because trust is the most important thing in a relation and in the relation between both of you it seems to be absent.

But I am pretty much sure that he will understand your feelings and this will not happen henceforth.

So sweetheart, cheer-up, express your feeling & leave the rest to the super-powerful "Almighty". One more thing while you say all these things feel very confident that you are going to convince him and get him back to your life. That itself will give you the positive energy to express your feelings in the most perfect manner. Don't be in a sympathetic mode because you have not done anything wrong. You have tried to maintain this relationship and I understand that you value this a lot too. I repeat again don't be in a sympathetic mode at all it will give more pain, accept the fact that you have been loyal to this relationship & somebody is challenging your values and dignity. So be strong & I am sure you will be able to convince him & continue this beautiful journey of love.

Ok dear, hope this works out for you. Hope for the best ...

Thanks for writing,

Neptune

Preparing for a date

It might be magic moment for you to a date with someone special, and now you've got the chance to make an impression. Preparing for a date can be nerve-wracking, but can be approached in a step-by-step manner that'll assure you make it to your date fully prepared. The rest depends on one individual and that's YOU.

Steps
Do some homework.
In the days before a date, take time out to catch up with current events and hot topics. These are great conversation starters and you will be able to impress your date with your knowledge. Try to remember as much as you can about previous conversations together so you can follow up on them. Have a couple of funny stories or conversation pieces up your sleeve in case you need them.

Start looking and feeling good in advance.
Set time aside for exercise in the days before the date, whether it's yoga or push ups. Eat well and get plenty of sleep.

Pick your clothes early.
You should have several outfits laid out before the day of the date. This way you won't have any last minute panics when you realize you have a spaghetti stain down your favourite shirt. Plus, it will allow you to try on a few different looks on the day of the date and see which one fits your mood most comfortably at the time.

Clean up on the day of the date.
Take a nice, long shower or bath. Ensure you have clean hair and nails. You should smell good, but not overpowering. Avoid heavy perfumes and aftershaves, especially if your date could be allergic. Ladies, go easy when applying make-up and aim for a natural but groomed look. If things go well he will eventually see you without make-up - and you will want him to recognize you at that point. Shortly before leaving for your date, floss and brush your teeth thoroughly.

Think positively.
You're going out to enjoy yourself, after all. Don't start worrying about what disasters could happen, because that way they are far more likely to. If you are getting nervous, call a good friend, watch your favourite comedy show or listen to upbeat music. Loosen up. Focus on having fun and you inevitably will.

Be punctual.
Give yourself plenty of time to get to your rendezvous. Keeping your date waiting will start things off on the wrong foot.

Warnings

1. Be sure to always have a cell phone and cash for a cab so that you never feel you have to rely on your date for a ride home.
2. Always be careful about alcoholic intake.
3. Don't Do Drugs

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Prepare for a Date. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

We fight a lot but we love each other

Dear

I am in a relationship for 1 year and a month, where it is fine at times, and then we have are little fights... but then we have every couple of months these big big fights like basically if we didn’t love each other it would of been over along time ago!

but I got so many problems that build up to make these fights I don't know if it's me or my boyfriend?



I'll name the problems:



-Name calling- he calls me a bitch and slut and stupid, but then I call him names like asshole,jerk, stupid and etc. :(

Can you help me on this?



-I have a problem with him being around girl and that, it only started when he got really close with this girl like I don't think they did anything but they were like close like hugging flirting in front of me and touchy , and in my school most of the girls are like that.

so it bothers me when he looks down the hall or in class or etc and looks at certain girls I dislike because I feel he checks them out and says he doesn’t when I ask him? like i don’t know I just don't like him seeing ,sitting,looking,staring,talking,being touchie flirty with any girls cause of that one girl who just made me so mad that, that is what made us fight alot.



-Drugs like I know he doesn't do drugs but some of his friends do it and I would let him hang with them, but I don't trust him because he might do them with his friends behind my back, I use to let him hang with his friends and I would be all like yeah go for it but now I get all like no I don't think you should go because he did drugs behind my back when I left the province for a week and I phoned him everyday to tell him no drugs , behave and he promise he wouldn’t so from then on I've be worried concerned about me and this relationship getting hurt!



like I know it may sound like I'm controlling but the things that I am are the important things like I tell him to follow these certain rules like: No cheating, No Porn, be honest with me, no drugs, and no looking etc at girls!



Like I want this relationship to be happy again but there is just to much fighting but it's not only me I don't think!



Like we agree if we go to any parties we'd go with each other because it's not right to go to parties with out each other well it is just not right to get drunk and cheat kind of thing!

So that's fine but I don’t know I love him alot and he loves me alot I know we can't let go but the fights are just going to get worst like WORST! :( So please help me.



Also we use to go out alot instead of stay home and watch movies and etc and be by ourselves we use to hang with others now we don't and are fights seem more when we are alone with each other and not out?

And I never really like going out anywhere anymore? I use to but now I just don't know why?

so please if you can help me out and give me advice I would really appreciate that :(


-S



Hello S,

Well well well, so you are having a tough time. See in love there are certain things that should be considered with prime importance

1)Trust

2)Committment

3)Self-Confidence

You know what your main problem is, all the three above. You dont have any of the,. You dont trust your partner at all, you feel you are committed but definitely there is a gap and finally you highyly insecure that your BF might leave you.

See you have to be very composed especially in things which matter you a lot. You dont have to keep your guy pressing on the fact what he needs to do and what not to do. Give him space, its very important in a relationship. Just try doing this, ask him what makes him most happy. Try to get his feelings and what he thinks about the relation. What all stuff he would like to change in you, I am sure this might be depressing for you as you will be exposed to negative things of your but accept it and try to change it if they are wrong. Try to respect each other. Calling names at rare occassions happen but if its very frequent then that needs immediate attention.

After taking necessary inputs from him try to change that and do things according to him, I will bet that he will like it an there you are he is for you always.
Hope this helps,
Thanks,

Neptune

I am married & love another girl

Dear,
i am a married person age of 30year. We have been shifted our house to another place where i met one girl who is staying just next to my flat and woth in few days i like her. So one day i proposed her and she said yes to me even she knows that i am married.Initially she calls me and send me messages every days. Even i got late in office she msg me to come soon.Now my problem is last 10days her behaviour is very strange. She never calls me and sned only one msg a day. When i felt that i should talk to her about her, she said that she still love me and because of her parent and her busy office schedule she couldn't able to call me.Pls advice that what could be the possibility of her behaviour like this because these is all disturbing me.


Pls help meRegards
K


Hello K,


First of all let me tell you bluntly that you are not on the right track of your life. There is a woman who has trusted you and agreed to live her whole life with you but you are upto something else. The other lady's behaviour (not your wife) might have changed because she must have realised that she is doing something wrong and definitely both of you are wrong. I strictly advice you to be out of this relation as soon as possible as this is going to ruin many lives going forward. I am sure I have not solved your problem but you yourself is creating a big problem. I am sorry I can only advice this much as of now


Thanks for writing,
Neptune

I love him but not sure whether he loves me.

Dear Neptune,

i like a guy, from my maths class but i dont know if he likes me, too.He is friendly to me, he smiles at me and sometimes he tease me. He seems that he likes me as a friend. But there are times that he is distant, cold and nervous. Im not sure that he knows about my feelings. That's the reason i dont know how to treat him. Im friendly with him but maybe it is better to be cold and distant, too. What should i do?

K

Hi K,

It's a fact that love has no boundaries - age, caste , religion no bar. But If are very young then I would suggest to concentrate on studies. Well anyway I dont know your age so I would suggest you what to do.

See, you like him but do you love him. There is a significant difference between liking & loving. Loving needs a lot of commitment from both ends. If you love him, the only solution is let him know your feelings. Before saying that you love him "Hope for the best & Be prepared for the worst" - why I said this because if he also loves you nothing better than that but God Forbid if he doesn't be prepared to face it. There are times when people over-burden themselves with negativities so please don't do that. Express your feelings and make it sure that you convey him if he is not interested there should be no problem in your friendship and it should continue as it is. Friendship is probably the purest relation on earth and if it moves to the next step it happens to be the divinest. So 'K' go ahead, express your feelings - I will pray for you. And you said he is nervous & distant sometimes, just approach him at that time and ask him what is the problem. Probably you may not be in a position to solve it but atleast you can share it.

So Best of Luck

Thanks for writing,

Neptune

Distance Love

Dear Neptune,
I have a big problem which is; I fell in love with ****** however due to distance we cant be together. For him to come would mean to have a visa and its not easy. He also works on a ship which does not make it any easier for our relationship and its hard to make it work or solid and so realize our true feelings. What can we both do?

S

Dear S,

It's good to fell in love, or rather I would say you should always rise in love. As the big preachers say, "Distance should not be a problem in love", what is important is the feelings, yeah you are absolutely right that conveying feelings is a bit difficult. But please understand that love has some practical obstacles and distance is one of them. The best thing is to cope with that. Well is there any possibility of you / he mailing you and continuing the communication OR either of you can call each other. If he is in ship, he might be landing to some place quite often and I think you both can communicate. It not necessary that both of you be in front of each other for expressing feelings, you can also take this positively that the inspiration to meet you will make him work more efficiently and the wish to meet him will make your days beautiful by thinking about him.

Don't take this as a problem, try to be in touch through any means, e-mail - phone - or snail mail (not sure whether thats possible from your side).

Work is also important for love to sustain, as love only doesn't suffice the need. If he is in ship probably he might be working for 6-7 months a year and the rest of the time he could be back home right? so that time can be utilized to the fullest. And I am sure the occupation he is might be through choice and not by chance so quitting that also is not advicable.

So my basic advice is to be in touch through whatever means possible when he is away.

Thanks for contacting,

Neptune

In love you need to express feelings

Question:

she cann\'t understand me.but she is very sweet person

San
Answer:

Hey San,

First of all your question, I am not able to interpret completely but I will try to answer as far as I understood the question.

Assumption 1:
Well you want to make her understand that you love her, the most simple way of making her understand this fact is to tell her. Be a man and tell her, not like a street romeo guy, be gentle, polite , respect her presence and her feeling and tell her what you think / feel about her. See, until you tell this to her the default answer would be "No" now if you tell this to her and she responds it positively you have hit the bullseye and if she gives a negative answer there is no change in the situation (As the answer you thought was already no). So go and do the honors.

Assumption 2:
You folks are already in a relation and the lady is not understanding you. See, this is a problem of misunderstanding or a conflict of interest. Both of you sit and analyze what you are and what you want. How things should move ahead, personally I feel in a relation there should be no conditions and things should be as transparent as possible.

Well San, I am not sure whether you got your answer, but from a single line question I could only interpret this much.

Thanks,

Take care,
Neptune

I am a consultant and not an astrologist :)

Question:

My lover name is k******** (As I committed I will not put any real names over here) when i will get married to her?

MV (No actual name inserted)

Answer:

Hey MV,

Well this is a fantastic question, I mean I can try to solve your problems but I can't say anything about the date of your marriage. Yeah I know a bit of numerology but that is not the crux / objective of the blog. If you have any questions / problems regarding you relationship (I hope not) we can try and sort it out but predicting the date of your marriage, tough task for me :)

Sorry Dude,

Take Care,

Neptune

Loving only doesn't work

Question:

Dear Neptune,

I love a girl and she loves me, we have been going around for last 4 years but the problem is I haven not bought any gift for her. Whenevr I say that I will bring one she says that I will not take because I dont like it. What should I do?

Please suggest
Jack.

Answer:

Hey Jack,

It's good that you folks are going around for 4 years, I appreciate that. Well this is a common issue either the girls are very demanding or they are just reluctant about taking any gifts. Well Jack, see there should be gifts in a relation. The problem might not be that the lady doesn't like gifts, it could be that she might be confused / afraid of taking it back home. Afraid about the fact that what she is going to tell her parents. I would suggest one thing whenever you meet her just give her some chocolates, and once in a while gift her small goodies like keychain, a hand-purse or anything of that sort which would not be a problem taking home. Try this, I am pretty much sure the lady would be happy, but yeah if you start giving chocolates on every meeting make sure that you take them always as a habit because you are giving birth to an expectation so don't break that.

Keep writing.

Neptune

The Love Life in a Lovely Life

I am repeating the blog description here again as I am not sure how many would have read the description.

Everybody loves somebody atleast once in his / her lifetime. Love is never a destination its a journey, a beautiful journey and in this journey there are innumerable factors that makes this complete. One of the factors are the problems that everyone encounter and most of the stories get finished due to unsuccessful tackling of these problems.

These problems do occur in everybody's journey and the one who tackles it and tries to solve it, is successful in this journey.

Why am I here

I am just here to be a part of your journey, only in suggesting you the possible ways of handling problems. Again the question is why should you trust me or listen to me -- well -- I have no specific answer -- the only thing I could say is probably two brains are better than one. I could be suggestive and possibly view the problems in a different angle than you as I am an outsider with a neutralistic view & probably could see the actual problem.

I am just here to support you to the extent possible by me.

You can write to me at lovelysolutions@gmail.com ( I don't encourage real names from you as I will be posting this over here -- So you could send me nicknames along with the post) You could be rest assured that your personal details will not be revealed over here.

Below is a quote from a lovely film "Love Actually" to all you lovely people --

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around " -- Wonderful isn't it, it touched me and I am sure it will touch everybody who loves to love.


Cheers to a Lovely Life !!